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Negative self-talk is stifling your emotional & physical well-being.
The downward spiral that can ensue once you give negativity even the tiniest edge in your life can be overwhelming and its physical and emotional affects can be far reaching.
I won’t lie. Feelings of anxiety are kind of new to me. Before Hashimoto’s I never had anxiety. It doesn’t come often now, but when it does I go into a heightened state to do whatever I can to swing it in another direction. Within a day (or 3) I am usually successful.
I loathe how anxiety makes me feel. OMG I hate it!!!!
Long term anxiety or depression should be addressed with your health care professional, always! That said, let’s move on.
Small bouts of either anxiety or depression (that feel huge) can hit anyone depending on current life circumstances, right?
Let me tell those of you who don’t already know this, my autoimmune disease forced me into medical bankruptcy 2.5 years ago. There is no “bank of Dad” in my life. No family to hit up when things get tight. I’m a single gal, hanging from the branch all by myself.
This has understandably resulted in some money issues that are humiliating and embarrassing that I’m working on daily….in addition to everything else I do to manage my autoimmune disease. There is no reason for me to feel those feelings. I’m not responsible for our medical system being broken, right? Such a mess.
Economics is a huge problem for those of us with chronic diseases. I know I am not alone in struggling to afford my care. That’s another blog post for another day.
As a small business owner still in the building process of providing services in exchange for cash, I’m always stringing work together to allow me to pay all my own personal bills and keep doing what I’ve been doing for years….blogging and sharing information for FREE.
Recently two income sources unexpectedly dried up and then my landlord decided to not renew my lease so that she can renovate my apartment. This all landed on me after being sick for 2 weeks with the worst respiratory virus I’ve had in 20 years. I was flat out on my back for two solid weeks. No work. No income. Savings dwindling as I’m unable to work.
Been wondering where I’ve been? LOL!!!
Pure terror set in and my anxiety went through the roof. I fell into a negative downward spiral and kept falling deeper and deeper.
Here’s how it went in my head and how I got even more debilitated and sucked into the vortex of negativity.
“Great. I’ve got to go pound the pavement now? Getting a regular j-o-b will slow everything down with my business. I’m so fucked.”
“I’m 55 years old. No one wants to hire someone my age. I’m so fucked.”
“OMG am I going to have to start waitressing again to make ends meet?!?!? Will I have to start putting really shitty and unhealthy food in front of people so that I can survive?”
“OMG what if I can’t find a job. I’ll never find anyone to rent to me if I don’t have income.”
“Holy shit how will I afford the food and supplements I need to stay healthy?”
“The savings I have were earmarked for the next step of my business development. Now, a huge chunk of change is going towards a move. Am I going to be sleeping on someone’s sofa?”
Do you see where this cluster is heading?
I finally said to myself, “This shit has GOT TO STOP. I can’t do this anymore. I have got to find some way to get my mojo back.”
I knew if I continued on this path nothing good was coming from it. NOTHING.
I am fortunate enough to have a GREAT regular acupuncturist, Sarah Kalb, from Vitality acupuncture in Gulf Breeze, FL. I called her and got an appointment to get my energy adjusted. You can read more HERE about how acupuncture changed my life.
Keep reading! I have some GREAT easy FREE tips to help.
DON’T STOP here because you can’t afford acupuncture. That’s called an excuse. I just want you to know it’s one of my tools.
Here’s how I attacked my circumstances.
First step – Laced up my shoes and took a walk. It’s FREE.
My therapist used to say to me all the time, “You walk for your head, not for your ass.” Truer words have never been spoken. Move your butt. MOVE it! Start small if you must but START!
Second step – Long serious talk with myself.
And some crying. Lots of crying, actually. I just dumped all the crap I was feeling. It was not pretty. I got into the fetal position a few times, balled my eyes out and let it go. After a day long pity party I took a shower then went to Supercuts and had a $15 hair cut that made me feel like $1,00,000. Then I took another walk.
Feeling a little better I stopped telling myself how horrible this all was and worked to dig out something positive. It wasn’t easy but I persisted until I found it.
Maybe the Universe (God, higher power, etc) has decided it’s time for me to take the next step. That big fat one I’ve been afraid to take. You know that step, right? Maybe because I can’t seem to muster what I need to bust a move, the Universe is helping me by terminating the things that are no longer serving me and creating the space necessary for the things I desire to come to me.
Can you see the difference between the possibility that comes with this rather than the broken pity party that I started with? Night and day, right?
This is a radical shift in thinking from “woe is me” to “bring it on” but I’m telling you that shifting what you think about what is currently happening to you is key to getting out of your rut. We aren’t solving the problem here, we are just trying to shift your mental energy to a healthier place. Momentum will take care of the rest.
Third step – Listen to motivational anything.
Youtube. In the search bar type “motivation speeches”. Start there. Every free minute I had for days I listened to inspirational business owners and thought leaders. I felt lighter by the minute.
Fourth step – Hammer my brain with new information.
Disrupting your thought pattern in any way possible is key to beginning your shift. This particular suggestion can be a little to woo woo for some folks. This is a page torn out of the Louise Hay classic book, You Can Heal Your Life, and it makes many people very uncomfortable, myself included, but I did it because I know I needed it.
Every time I started to feel any inkling of anything remotely anxiety induce, stress producing, negative, uncertain, fear based, overwhelming….any of those negative emotions, I stopped and said…
“I love you Jodi” “I love you Jodi”
I said it as many times as I had to to shift away from what I was thinking. You get bonus points if you do it looking in a mirror or say it out loud.
If you are inclined to add some other positive affirmations, you can do that as well. The key is to use any statement that expresses positivity and love towards you. No one else. This is all about YOU.
The first day I did this I must have said it 500 times. No joke. I was not in a good place. Every day thereafter things just started to shift. I added other affirmations like “everything I need is coming to me quickly and easily” “I am healthy” “I am whole” “I am loved”
Fifth step – Start working, networking, shaking the can, get around people who are making things happen.
Force yourself to participate, no matter how uncomfortable you are. Sitting at home alone in front of the TV watching ads for shitty food is NOT a good place to be. Burying your face in your device is NOT good. Force yourself out. Go to a coffee shop and read a magazine. Smile at a cute man. Call a supportive friend (thank goodness for all of the supportive people I have in my life). Watch a comedy. Laugh.
Here’s the bottom line. No one ever wants to hear this, myself included but it’s the damn honest truth.
Whatever you are thinking about now, you are going to get more of.
If your internal dialogue about your autoimmune disease is negative, shift that as well. The more hopeless and sick you tell yourself you are, they more hopeless and sick you will continue to be.
Shift your thinking, shift your life.
Change takes repeated action. This is not a one shot deal.
It’s not rocket science.
I leveraged my pain for a better outcome and you can, too. This doesn’t mean all my problems are fixed, but what it does mean is that I have shifted my momentum and I’m INSPIRED to continue to push in that positive direction.
Thanks for taking the time to read this longer than normal piece.
Please share this with anyone you think might benefit from reading it.